The best laid plans…

…of mice and men, and blogging, no-longer-employed moms – and all that rot.

So, here I sit, Day 1 of week 1 of the world of unemployment (a state I’m just so not used to…) and in serious move-mode… So many things pressing, and my little, highly organized tendencies are ripped apart by The BF. Ugh. He of the “foreman” type personality. Eek. Thus, my initial plans for how to pack, clean and organize have been slightly, uhm… co-opted. Yeah.

And I’m too damn busy to even take humorous pictures of it!

Meanwhile – no good deed goes unpunished.

The young lady (twit) who was hired as The Replacement was also looking for a new place to live. She and a couple of friends were looking to move. I thought, “Well, our place is perfect. We have a cool landlord and it’s right in their price range.” So I mentioned it, told her about it, and she and the friends seemed excited.

I even did something I had previously refused other potential tenants – I let them come see the place in all of it’s half-packed, messed-up, unclean glory.

I have to explain that here – I keep a neat house, but I have a teenage daughter and a preteen son – their rooms were in need of some carpet cleaning. And some paint. And the rest of the place was simply in upheaval thanks to The BF and I working odd schedules, barely being home, constantly running between AZ and CA, being in the half-packed state and of course, Daisy, TCTBMBFH.

So, I warned the just-out-of-college monsters, uhmm… sorry, young people, that the place was not in its normal state and was an unholy wreck. They all said, “Hey cool, no problemo.”

They came, they saw, they seemed excited. Coolness. The landlord is willing to lower the deposit and keep the rent the same (with no raise) because I know the one young monster, err… lady.  So they put in their paperwork…

And that’s when all hell broke loose.

Apparently, Mr. Man, one of the twit young monsters who was hoping to live here, decided to tell the landlord that before he would “accept” the place, it needed (are you ready for this???)

New carpet (yeah, right – it got cleaned, OK), new blinds (uhhmmm… I bought the blinds, shithead… they didn’t come with the place, I’m being NICE and leaving them, asswipe!), a full paint job (no shit Sherlock – but guess what, I’m doing THAT before we leave as well), new linoleum (whose fucking reality are you living in child???), new light fixtures (hello??? We installed the ceiling fan/light combos in all bedrooms and the upper hall – and they all match – and the remaining TWO light fixtures are the wood-trimmed-matches-the-cabinetry florescent in the kitchen and the vintage chandelier in the dining room – the one that the landlord’s deceased WIFE picked out), new shower doors (uhmmm… I asked the landlord what, exactly, was the reason for wanting to replace the perfectly good ones already there? Apparently, Mr. Man feels every tenant should have NEW shower doors for “sanitary” reasons) and a list about a mile long of other “demands.” (and yes, that was the word that Mr. Man used in his letter to his potential landlord…)

Now, it has to be said – this place is DIRT cheap by market standards, and it’s in decent shape – nothing fancy, but decent. I provided window coverings, and looked the other way to the outdated (but still in good shape and neutral colored) linoleum. I also ignored the incredibly boring light beige carpet. I left the damned chandelier that I really don’t like (it’s a classic chandelier) because I knew his wife had picked it out for the place. The landlord is a great guy, about 80, and really terrific… But…

After he heard this tale of woe from Mr. Man (who apparently made it sound as the place was totally trashed and he would be doing the landlord a favor to even consider living in such a hell hole), he was on the phone with us in a panic.

Reassurances aside, he wanted to come out and see the place… So now I have a visit from my landlord to add to my “to-do” list. Oh goody.

On the good side – he did say, after talking with us, there is no way in hell he’d rent to a bunch of “demanding, ungrateful, whiney, sniveling, spoiled rotten shitheads” like that (and yep, that’s what he called them.)

So, now there is this nagging little brat inside of me that really wants to call The Replacement and tell her that her little friend with his antics (either true stupidity and cluelessness, or a deliberate attempt to get a nice man to lower an already low rent and move-rate – which is just sleazy) has totally ruined their chances of getting the place.

I really, really, really dislike stupid people….