So many topics, so little time! Sigh.

Since we just moved in there are quite a few things that need doing – and they’re the kind of things that come with a “window” – as in, “the ______ man will be there between 10 and 4” (fill in the blank – phone, Internet, cable, repair, etc.) And they always seem to have a six hour “window.” Nor does it ever seem possible to get all of them to have the same window.

And since I am as yet unemployed, I get to be the one waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

So, I’ve been snapping pics of funny things around the house, like the “booger cactus” that lives outside my back door. That’s not really its name, but I can’t recall the real name, and it really does look like a giant pile of snot… That is, if you can imagine a 7-foot tall pile of snot… Unfortunately, I can (I think I watched too many bad horror flicks as a kid.)

I’ve also been puttering on the things that need puttering – like finally unloading the big bag of dog food into the giant plastic trashcan kept for just that purpose. Who knew that giant bags of dog food now come with handy zipper closures? I didn’t.

And trying to figure out how to change the light bulb in the kitchen light – that thing that looks like a giant, suspended ping pong ball. That adventure involved clambering up onto the kitchen island, and wasn’t that oh-so-much fun?

Oh, yeah, and spraying those pesky weeds that have taken over my back yard – yep, they’re dying the slow and poisoned death of weeds. <Insert evil laugh>

But this isn’t a post about any of the puttering, or picture taking. Nope. It’s about a certain repairman. One who shall remain nameless lest I be charged with something like defamation of character (though, how I could be when his cluelessness seemingly knows no bounds, I’m sure I don’t know.)

There is a loverly thing called a home warranty. Which is cool. Which means for a nominal fee (ie: deductible) they pay to fix certain things that need fixing. Cool.

It does come with a problem. Not so cool. A repairman must come out, evaluate and determine exactly what type of fixing is to be done.

Which means, instead of me going out and buying a new, $500 trash compactor, the repairguy comes out, inspects it and decides it’s worth repairing (rather than the home warranty paying for a new, $500 trash compactor). Which requires that he order parts. Which requires that he come back another day.

It also means instead of me buying a brand new, goodness only knows how expensive electric stove (it ain’t the normal stand-alone type, noooo… this is built in to the cabinet – cooktop, oven and all), said repairguy inspects and … blah, blah, blah – you get the picture.

There were also the niggly problems of the wall oven (the second of my kitchen ovens) being off by too many degrees and my garbage disposal being slower than frozen molasses.

Now, on trip number one – said repairguy managed to piss me off royally by treating me like a clueless female. Grumble. He also managed to piss me off royally by asking why on earth I really needed two ovens, and why didn’t I just have the one repaired and not bother with the second. He also managed to piss me off royally in about half a dozen other ways. Bottom line here, he pissed me off.

But, he did fix the wall oven (adjusted the thermostat), declared the garbage disposal was “just fine” (yeah, OK), and said he’d get parts to fix the compactor and the other stove/oven combo.

Now, on day two – parts for compactor and stove in hand – he managed to actually not piss me off… Maybe he had a bad day the first time? And I began thinking that maybe he wasn’t such a twit after all.

I was wrong.

Mr. Repairguy managed to put the new part in the compactor, but in his utmost male intelligence hadn’t bothered to check the entire thing on his first visit. So, now the motor works, but lo-and-behold! It’s missing a belt. What? You didn’t check that on the first visit??? So, he needs to order yet another part and come back yet again.

On to the stove. Thermostat in hand (since this one is not adjustible), he takes apart the beast to discover – gasp – he’d written down the part number for the range thermostat and that the oven required a different thermostat, which means he can’t fix my stove. (at least he didn’t ask if I could live without it this time…) Which means, yet another trip for parts and return visit.

And then he left, promising to call when he got the parts and to schedule another visit then. (it had better happen before I start work, or he’s in for a big surprise…)

Meanwhile, I started calculating the basic cost of a repairguy’s time, the replacement parts, the multitude of visits, etc and started wondering….

Wouldn’t the warranty company have been better off to simply remove and replace these things, rather than pay for multiple repair visits and assorted and sundry parts for outdated appliances?

Kinda makes ya wonder if anybody in the company passed basic math, doesn’t it?