Die weeds! Die!

This was what my yard looked like the week we moved in:
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Hmmm… nobody told me that the expanse of pea-gravel would sprout weeds at the first sign of a rainy spell followed by a warm and sunny spell. I thought the point of the gravel was to eliminate the weeds? Well, it does, at the very least reduce them – considering what the channel NEXT to our house looks like… Someday, I have to take a pic of that…

But, Round Up to the rescue!
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Can you tell we’ve also added some furniture? All the better to sit out in the beautiful weather we’re currently having! Though the local avian life has spoiled my original plans….

The tree in the far right corner? That’s the olive tree – and why it’s way in the corner, I’ve no clue! The other tree? No, not the one in the middle – that’s not a tree trunk, but more of the Booger Cactus. The one on the left. The one with three big trunks. The one producing all that beautiful shade. Yeah that one.

Apparently, it’s home to every single flying rat, oh, sorry, I mean BIRD (I don’t like birds… really… I saw The Birds one too many times, I guess), in a 50-mile radius and the level of bird crap underneath it is astonishing. I’m serious. I tried to get a pic of the bird crap piles, but there was so much of it that it just looked like a big, nasty, lumpy, brownish carpet of crap.

And now, I think I know why…

The lady who lived in this house before us used to feed the dang things… Now, I’m all for feeding the birds, and I love bird feeders, and bird baths, and I’ve even had more than my fair share of hummingbird feeders in my trees. But this is insane!

There are umpteen gazillian flying rats in my yard – front and back… sorry, birds… And they range from the rather cute Cactus Wren to the not so cute pigeon (have I ever explained how much I genuinely hate pigeon? Unless we’re talking the young ones, prepared just right and called “squab”). There are a few other flying critters of unknown variety (I am not a bird watcher, OK?) OH, there are also doves – and I mean lots and lots and lots of doves.

Now, doves may be a symbol of peace, but when there are half a dozen of them sitting on your window sill, not a foot from your face, cooing loudly and looking at you as if to say, “Hey! Lady! Where’s the food! Produce already!” They are not so peaceful.

While I can happily poison plant life, I can NOT happily poison bird life (no matter how much I may dislike the critters!) I can’t even unhappily do it – it’s just wrong. And short of stopping the Gravy Train, there isn’t much I can do to rid myself of the flying pests – since I’m not about to chop down my shade tree, dang it!

So, I’m having to resign myself to living in what amounts to an open aviary… With umpteen gazillian flying rats (sorry, birds) around me.

Maybe I can convince The BF to get an outdoor cat who likes to hunt?