A lesson in intolerance…

…of suburbanites, that is.

City Parking
Parking in the city... this is a test...
Six months in the city and I’ve already developed a massive level of impatience (that is quickly knocking on the door of intolerance) for those non-city types who drive in from the outskirts, suburbs or rural areas and totally fuck with traffic.

Yeah, city traffic is already bad – there’s the road work, the lack of parking, the 9-5 grinders filling up the streets, etc, etc, etc. But…

Nothing, I mean nothing, beats the clueless factor of those coming into the city for an “event.”

We live in the midst of the city’s “cultural district” right near several major attractions. The good side of this is that all this cool stuff is right in my backyard as it were.

The uncool side is that everybody else wants to be here, too and they have no flippen clue how to drive in the traffic, or navigate the parking. A little hint – Baltimore is really easy – there are websites dedicated to finding parking, and they’re pretty good. And those darn parking lot signs that just about every lot uses can be seen for at least a quarter mile… and let’s not forget the guys waving bright orange flags and wearing PARKING vests, huh?!?

Here's your sign... see it? How can you miss that great, big "P"?!?
So, on my way home tonight, I was forced to sit through four rotations of a light whilst the clueless types clogged an intersection (literally 100 yards from home) and stopped in the middle of the street with blinkers on, trying to figure something out. Folks, it’s called a parking lot. There is an attendant.  You drive in, and you pull as far forward as you can, then you stop and wait.

It’s considered bad form to wait in the street where you block traffic. The 9-5ers know this. Trust me, I walk past them every single morning, and there they are, neatly pulling into the lot and waiting 5 and 6 cars deep. So what are y’all doin’ sittin’ in the road when there is one lone car in the lot, waiting for the attendent?

Now, you might ask – how do I know these are not city dwellers from another part of the city…

That’s easy.

City dwellers avoid that shit like the plague, plus they become very adept, very quickly, at figuring out parking and traffic navigation. And there is no way in hell they’d clog up an intersection like that… they don’t want to get hit!

They also don’t tend to be driving cars sporting stickers depicting the mascots of high schools 20 miles to the south…