It’s the law stupid…

English: The Sin of Nadab and Abihu, as in Lev...
The Sin of Nadab and Abihu, as in Leviticus 10, illustration from a Bible card published 1907 by the Providence Lithograph Company (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ask any Christian to justify their reasons for disapproving of homosexuality and they will say it’s bad, the Bible tells them so. Having spent more than a few years immersed in that book, I always chuckle at that argument, because those very same folks seem to conveniently forget other things those same chapters of the Bible told them to do. Their reasoning for that, of course, is the freeing power of Jesus Christ.

So… by that reasoning, a Bible-believing Christian is freed from the law by believing in Jesus, and accepting him as their savior. The New Testament admonished people to not gauge their righteousness by the old laws, stating that only by faith are believers saved. OK. That’s all well and good. Except…

Why do these folks think it’s OK to selectively enforce the old laws? It’s OK to disapprove of homosexuality because the Bible says it’s an abomination and detestable. But we don’t need to sacrifice animals, follow dietary laws, treat women who just gave birth or who have their period as “unclean”, abstain from sex during certain holy days, or any number of the other Levitical laws.

There have been plenty of bloggers out there quoting chapter and verse of the Old Testament and I appreciate that. Here is one well-thought out argument. However, I want to have fun. Big shock. Good ole Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13. They’re the culprits behind all the gay-bashing and “I don’t hate the sinner, I hate the sin” claims. What about the rest of Leviticus, hmmmm?

Leviticus 20:9 “For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.”

So, it’s the death penalty for anyone who curses their parents! Take note!

Leviticus 19:19 “Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

Whoa! Shit! I guess Christians who are determined to follow the law should never wear cloth woven from two different kinds of material. There goes all those cotton-wool blends we all like so much!

Leviticus 19:27 “Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.”

Hey guys, you need to ditch the razor and grow some of those rocking sideburns and beards just like the Orthodox Jews do, I guess!

Leviticus 20:10 “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife–with the wife of his neighbor–both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.”

Oh, wait, this never happens in the church. Yeah, right! Where are all the cries to put adulterers to death?

Leviticus 21:9 “If a priest’s daughter defiles herself by becoming a prostitute, she disgraces her father; she must be burned in the fire.”

Wow, burned to death, huh? Somehow, I don’t think that would go over to well in court. I can hear it now, “Well, Your Honor. The priest’s daughter left home and turned to prostitution, sir. We caught her on the street corner and tossed her in the fire, just like the Bible says to do!”

Gee, I hope none of these oh-so-loving, Bible-believing Christians have neglected to have their sons circumcised!

And just for some more fun…

  • When was the last time you burned a bull on the altar to create a pleasing aroma for the Lord? (Lev 1:9) And just what do you tell your neighbors? Hey, c’mon over for a barbecue? Is there some city code about that shit? What will the HOA think?
  • Hey, in this day and age, college is expensive. Why not sell your daughter into slavery? (Ex 21:7) I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, and never mind about those pesky laws against it. This is the Bible we’re talking about, the laws of man don’t outweigh the laws of God.
  • Chik-fil-A has it right, we should shut down everything and not work on the Sabbath! (Ex 35:2) Every Sunday, we close emergency rooms, and the police, fire department and emergency medical personal all have the day off.
  • Shellfish are an abomination to God, the Bible says so. (Lev 11:10) We need to boycott Red Lobster until they remove all shellfish from their menus! Wait? What? You say the church group meets there for lunch every Sunday after service? But… But… they’re supposed to be closed on the Sabbath!