“Idiocracy” must have been written by Dr. Who

Some time ago, we watched the film “Idiocracy” and while I laughed at some of it, it was a nervous, uncomfortable laughter. Why? Because I feared that it was entirely too possible.

Then I told myself, “Nah! People aren’t that… well… that… dumb.”

And then came Honey Boo Boo. I don’t watch TV. I don’t like reality shows. But you’d have to be living under a rock to not know about this kid. After reading the first few articles, I studiously avoided learning anything more about the family. Really? This is on TLC? Does anyone recall when TLC used to be The Learning Channel and actually had interesting, educational content?

So I happily trip along in my non-Honey-Boo-Boo-Awareness bliss until I get slapped in the Facebook with an “old family recipe” for “sketti.”

And no, I’m not talking about some long-simmered Italian sauce here. I’m talking margarine and ketchup on pasta.

Yeah. Broke college students wouldn’t eat this stuff… wait… I take that back. You’d have to be a broke college student to eat this stuff.

Seriously, they keep saying “butter” and I finally broke down and watched the video to discover that the “butter” was in fact tub margarine. <shudder> Which makes it somehow even worse.

Then my slightly OCD side took over and I started calculating the nutritional content of this feat of culinary delight.

Based on the info in the video and the recipe she gives, these noodles pack a whopping 720 calories per serving. That comes along with 32 grams of fat, 148 grams of carbohydrates and 1,240 milligrams of sodium.

Compare that to the RDA for these things… hmmm…

Calories –
Sketti = 720
US RDA = 2,000
Over 1/3 (36%) of your calories from one single serving.

Fat –
Sketti – 32 grams
US RDA – 44 – 78 grams
Total fat should be 20 to 35% of your total calories. Wow.

Carbohydrates –
Sketti = 148 grams
US RDA = 300
So, nearly half of your carbs in one meal.

Sodium –
Sketti =  1,240 milligrams
US RDA = 2,400 milligrams
That means sketti offers up nearly one half of the recommended dietary intake of sodium. In. One. Serving.

Yeah, OK, I’m all about taste adventures. And I certainly don’t count calories or nutrition when we’re talking about something decadently delicious. But those are treats. And not something I eat as a meal.

And why in the name of all things holy, unholy and otherwise is this shit news worthy?

That was when I realized that “Idiocracy” must have been written by Dr. Who and produced in this time period as a warning about the future of humanity. Keep going like this and see what you’ll become.

I’m only half joking.